Variation

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of suicidal ideation, physical and emotional abuse, and sexual content.

In Variation, protagonists Allie and Hudson both deal with internal conflicts over how best to follow their professional dreams while also finding happiness in their personal lives. Before they reunite, Allie and Hudson are content with what they have: She is a successful, famous professional dancer, and Hudson is happy to be with his family and care for June while working in Cape Cod. However, once they admit that they are still in love with each other, they realize that they are lacking balance in their lives.

Allie lacks any kind of personal life, as she is entirely devoted to her professional ballet career. She admits to Hudson that the only romantic relationships she has ever had have been with other dancers, noting how it allows for the “same lifestyle, same schedule, same priorities. No mess” (217). Her friends are also only within the ballet circle, while her family is entirely dedicated to the Company. All of this leads Allie to be entirely devoted to ballet, lacking anything outside of it that makes her happy. What little personal life Allie does have still operates within the sphere of her professional ballet world.